if you want to understand me a little bit better, read this (i pulled this from some foolish mortal's blog).

you might not think i'm an introvert... maybe because i can (usually) carry a decent conversation or because i can stand in front of people and look like i'm singing my heart out. but look closely... (well, read the article first... then look again).

my out-going, milk-chocolate shell is thin. crack it open and you'll find a nice, little, pensive robot encapsulated in a plastic case. some assembly may be required.

i'm still alive-- but only in the literal sense of the word.
my lungs are breathing... and my heart is still pumping enough blood through my body.

i don't think i've been happy these last couple weeks. i'm not sure if i have enough energy to be happy. i'm doing my best not to "sell-out". but i'm struggling to keep my finances in check. arg. i don't like the amount of whining i've been doing lately either.

*sigh*

Now when the boxes go I keep mine
You should peep mine
Once or twice but never 3 times
I'm just a sneaker pro
I love Pumas and shell-toes
But can't nothing compare to a fresh, cripsy white pair of...

I said give me two pairs
I need two pairs
So I can get to stomping in my Air Force Ones
Big Boys stomping in my Air Force Ones
-nelly

i just got my AF1s in the mail yesterday (yes, on sunday... i didn't know mailmen worked on sundays either). mine are the limited-edition, only-in-asia, year-of-the-horse, all-white, patent leather AF1s. the only problem is that they're too big. i wear 9.5/10US. these are 10.5s. but i still like my new kicks.

there's no room in my budget for any more sneakers, so i gotta enjoy these bad boys.

woke up at 4:30 this morning, grabbed my gear and went snowboarding. i'm growing to love this sport ("activity"? "hobby"?) more and more. conditions were decent. there was some good powder. although, visibility was bad (very foggy throughout the day). i'm determined to learn the half-pipe, but it'll have to wait til next year... when (if?) i have health insurance and can afford a helmet.

i'm too tired to think and write more. i'm like this alot these days. the source can't be work, it must be something deeper, but i don't have the energy to conduct a thorough investigation. i hope i don't get too worn out tomorrow. 11.30 service, praise and open mic are gonna be alot to handle. we shall see.