it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all...

how true is this? have any of you really, truly loved someone? and then got crushed? was it worth it?

i guard my heart so closely. i stand behind the door, peering out the peep-hole... so reluctant to unbolt, slide the chain across and turn the knob for anyone.

i've never been in love... never been in a serious (or even not-so-serious) relationship. but i know-- i just do-- that if i get involved with someone that i'd dive right in... head first... and if someone were to get hurt, it'd be me. why? because i'm naive. i'm idealistic. i'll romanticize the love. i'll try too hard. i'll get greedy. i'll hate myself for it. i'll make mistakes and i'll get rejected and i'll hurt.

OR
maybe i'll die a lonely death in a lonely apartment in a lonely city. all alone and unloved.

OR
maybe it'll all click and fall into place and i'm worrying for nothing. but i doubt it.