i've been trying to find some good, fast, non-cheezy praise songs... but it's so hard. i think the difficult part is the "non-cheezy" qualifier. i'm starting to realize that i'm not as comfortable singing songs of joy and triumph and jubilee. i mean, in secular music, people croon about pain, suffering, loss and depression... OR they put their love, intimacy and warm-and-fuzziness to music. there aren't any hand-clapping songs and there aren't any songs with hand-motions (YMCA doesn't count). am i the only one that feels awkward singing those kinds of songs? i want people to sing with all their hearts. i want the worship to seep from every crevice of their souls. giddy songs don't seem natural to me... but maybe that's something that God's working on in me.

i haven't been working this week, but it seems like i'm so much busier. my room is strewn with clothes, the sink is full of rice-crusted plates, i can't move my mouse without pushing over a stack of unopened mail. time to sleep. some people will be waking up soon, i'll be in the middle of a happy dream. i have a feeling i'll remember tonight's episode. we'll see soon enough. peace.