i remember having taken a "spiritual gifts assessment" test in high school and college. it was one of those "on a scale of one to five, how true are the following statements for you..." kinds of tests. anyways... i always seemed to accumulate the most points for MUSIC (not super surprising) and CRAFTSMANSHIP.

when i think about it... i really do enjoy making stuff. i was never into models... and my lego collection was always weaker than the other kids'. but i always entered the toothpick-bridge and marshmallow-tower building contests.

my current project: a gig bag for my new djembe. i was up until 3am working on it. i'm about halfway done. i just need to attach the zipper top and the straps for carrying ease... and maybe a pocket or two and some design elements.

future projects: shearling hat, a shaker/tambourine that i can strap to my ankle, a man-purse.

there's been quite a demand for my djembe skills these days. it's weird... for the last year or so, i've only played a handful of times, but just recently i've been invited to play at a wedding (next week), a coffeehouse (2 days ago), 2 morning services (next 2 weeks) and a church conference (2 weeks from now). in addition, there's a real chance that one of my friends might record a demo and she wants me to back her up. i'm seriously considering purchasing a nice one for these upcoming events.

in case you have no idea what i'm talking about. this is a djembe:

(this is actually the model i'm looking to purchase... from a vermont-based company that makes a solid, clean-looking instrument)

it's an african drum, with a deep bass sound and nice clean tones. i definitely need some practice... but i'm excited to improve my skills and perform.

(p.s. it bothers me when people pronounce it "duh-jem-bay" as if you have to pronounce the D and J separately. it's "jem-bay". please remember this around me. thanks.)

i don't think i have seasonal affective disorder-- well, maybe to a mild degree. the weather definitely seems to be affecting me.

or maybe it's not the weather, but the city... or this stage in my life... or a spiritual thing.

it's definitely something my new computer and a bunch of new sneakers can't fix.

Many a time and much have they afflicted me from my youth up, yet they have not prevailed against me. The plowers plowed upon my back; they made long their furrows. The Lord is [uncompromisingly] righteous; He has cut asunder the thick cords by which the wicked [enslaved us].
psalm 129:2-4 (amplified version)

i got my new computer today. it's sooooooo much faster than my old machine.
i've also been trying to teach myself how to skateboard. so let's recap my weekend: setting up my computer and alot of falling.

(and shoe shopping-- shhhh!)

i've been stuffing my face with chocolate truffles all day. healthy, i know. that's what happens when the area in front of my cube has become the unofficial "hey-everybody-eat-these" locale. sometimes it's mrs. field's cookies, sometimes it's fruit, today it's chocolate.

i have a stomach ache already.

anyways, i'm watching kill bill tonight.



what does it mean if the first thing i notice in this picture is uma's really cool asics?
(rhetorical question... i know what all of you are going to say)

school or rock was rockin-- in that cutesy, feel-good kind of way. it makes me wonder why i waited until i was in high school to start playing guitar.

i also went to a picnic on saturday. i didn't partake in the group games: football, basketball and what-not. decided instead to just play tennis. i'm glad i finally got to use the single play tickets i bought earlier this year for ny parks & rec. tennis courts.

there was a moment this weekend where i got that indescribable (at least in a succinct way) "i-want-a-girlfriend" type of feeling. i guess it could be considered loneliness, but that seems to connote depression. i wasn't down about it at all... it was more of a "wouldn't-it-be-nice..." sensibility.

wouldn't it be nice...?

i'm realizing more and more how difficult it is to be a "leader".
in high school, i held various positions in different clubs... president of the future business leaders of america, associated student body secretary, "captain" of the knowledge bowl team. (i was/am a geek. fine!). i'm reluctant to call them positions of "leadership", though. it wasn't leading them... i was organizing them.

i'm not a gifted leader... i don't possess the necessary traits to do it well. i'm not encouraging and supportive in an outward, natural fashion. i'm not influential. i'm not charismatic or charming. i'm not humble. i don't have a clear vision and the drive to implement it. all i have is this desire to serve and this crippling inability to say, "no." that makes me a good follower-- not a leader.

why the heck am i doing it then? why do i endure the stress of trying to please everybody? why do i take the role so seriously... so personally?

all i want to do is worship. why does it have to be so complicated?

what's the earliest you've ever had to come into work?
for me... 7:30am... as in today.

i don't mind so much... i actually even volunteered to come in. am i a masochist or what? alas, i'm the only one here... which is expected as the bulk of the people come into work at around 10. soon the celebrity impersonator will be here, so he and i can head over to the promotion site together.

my job is weird, huh?

sharon stone guest starred on the practice last night. she played an attorney that was fired from her firm because she claimed that God spoke to her directly (she also believed that bald men could access her thoughts). the most notable scene was when she gave her opening statement... she began to point out individuals in the jury by name... saying things like "i was fired from my firm because i believe i hear the voice of God, the same God that you, so-and-so, prayed to every day when your wife had cancer... and you, ms. schmo, believe in-- even though you think she's a man-- which is okay." when the judge and defendant confronted her about this obviously disturbing insight (it's illegal to have personal information about the jurers), demanding her source, she claimed, "from God."

i don't really have a point... i just thought it was interesting.

DK's wedding was nice... and lots of fun. i haven't danced in a while... i need to brush up on my moves or make up new ones. it's not like riding a bike.

after the wedding, i hung out with 2 folks that were flying to l.a. the next day. a foolish mortal that was just in town for the wedding and a hello kitty that's moving back to l.a. permanently. i wonder if/when i'll move to california.

i ordered my g4 today. i hope it doesn't take long to build/ship. i really want that bad boy. i decided against getting the dvd burner... i hope that was a wise choice.

people are making life-changing decisions: getting married, moving across the country... while i'm buying toys and shoes. what am i doing?

it's friday.
no huge plans for the weekend. going to dk's wedding. it should be nice. i hope i'm not the only one going "formal" for this black-tie optional event. but it should be nice whether i'm overdressed or not.

i'm debating whether or not to get a new computer. i have my eyes on the dual processor g4. the g5 is just too inconvenient... it doesn't boot up in os9, the hardware is not backwards compatible (so i can't install my old hard drive, ram and use my pro speakers and iSub)...

i want a new computer but it isn't exactly a necessity. my g3 is definitely dated. i've had that baby for 5 years. that's ancient in computer years. the flipside is that it costs money (really, it does!). i do get a nice discount with apple through my company though.... which is a rare thing.

to buy or not to buy... that's the question.

i went paint-balling for the first time saturday. it was fun, but i got in trouble. the ref was giving me attitude and i gave him some attitude back. the violent nature of the game was making me confrontational and short-tempered. scary. anyways, i was ejected from the game and instructed to not return for the rest of the evening. i just changed shirts and snuck in; he couldn't tell us apart.

it wasn't as painful as i thought it'd be. granted, i wasn't shot point-blank, "bunkered", as they call it. i came away with a small bruise on my back and on my thigh. both have healed already, so... i'm fine.

it was a good workout, the most i've sweat in a looong time.
pleasant images/scents for a fine wednesday.

ps. don't forget to click (also on the right menu bar).