i have a warped sense of reality.
yes, yes, i know everyone does, but mine's starting to bother me. i have a friend who's an only child... his mom babied him alot, always saying he was such a good son... that he was so handsome and smart. he said that in high school and college, he slowly began to realize that he wasn't as good-looking as his mom had him believe. another example occurred on a road trip to new hampshire last year. it was me and two friends (both women). the idea of forming our own little fight club came to our minds... they were convinced that if the two of them fought me, they'd overwhelmingly win. i, of course, with a greater grip on reality had no choice but to disagree.

i was reading the book of Daniel today. this guy was crazy blessed by God: good looks, intelligence, privilege. the thing that amazed me most was his unwavering faith in God. not only that, but how his faith seemed to work in union with his intelligence and good looks and privilege. i always feel like my "gifts" and my faith are in constant conflict with one another... like i'm either relying on my own abilities OR on God... rarely are both working together. the other thing is, my warped sense of reality makes me believe i'm good at everything... i'm so diluted, i don't even know what my "gifts" are...

Daniel is like the guy that got 5 talents and i'm the guy with 1. he's making a profit for the master while i'm just burying mine.